Things children say.

Since entering the classroom at the elementary level, I continue to be surprised by some of the words that come of childrens' mouths these days (even though I really shouldn't be considering the world they live in). One of my favorite recollections happened in a 1st grade classroom. The teacher's lesson plan included a timed math test. When it came time to do the math, I told the students that I would count down to begin the test. I began to count down the seconds as I waited for the second hand to hit 12 on the wall clock. The students voluntarily counted down with me. I gave them the signal to begin their test and as I observed the kids working their problems, one little boy just sat there doing nothing. This kid had been distractable and unable to stay on task all morning. I informed him that the test had begun and he told me that I hadn't said "go" yet. I explained to him that the class had counted down with me and I had told them to begin. I urged him to get started before his time was up. He began to cry while refusing to do his test; I tried to console and reason with him, but it was to no avail. The other students began to finish and I had to collect their work before they decided their tests would make for great drawing paper. As I was dealing with another student, this boy quietly went to the bathroom located in a tiny hallway that connected us to a neighboring classroom. The test was over a moment later and I quickly collected the remaining tests. I instructed the class to stay in their seats and remain quiet (not an easy task with this bunch!). I went over to the bathroom and told the boy to come out, but he refused. I attempted to open the door and discovered that he had locked it! I reached a point where I warned him that if he didn't come out, I would call the principal to deal with him. A little girl came up to me and chimed: "I can get him out! I know how to talk to him." I figured it wouldn't hurt to let her try. Her next words left me speechless: "Daniel, if you don't come out, I'll crush your balls!"

To be honest, I nearly laughed aloud, but I quickly caught myself. Somehow, I retained most of my composure and gently admonished the girl for the statement, which wasn't appropriate to say at her age, not to mention in a 1st grade classroom. To my amazement, the boy unlocked the door and came out! He sat down in his assigned seat and sulked. I never could get him to do the routine assignments that day, but he did at least do the arts and crafts work that the teacher had planned for them.

I later learned that this boy required medication to help him focus on his work, but his medication wasn't administered until lunch time, so his mornings were always unproductive as a result. While his teacher may have been in a hurry, details like this are important to include in the lesson plan when a sub must take over. Had I known that he had a medical issue, I could have handled him differently and more effectively, rather than thinking that he was just being difficult out of spite and testing his limits with me.