My wedding day is almost here.

My husband and I have been "common law" for 4 years, but we've always intended on making it legal. After 2 date changes, the wedding day is finally on for this Saturday, and yet, the nervousness that we are expected to feel isn't really there. Perhaps it's that we've already been together for some time and that the ceremony will be at its most basic, lacking the pomp and circumstance that often goes with a wedding. There will be no bridesmaids or best men, no flower girl or ring bearer, no honeymoon, no formal wedding gown or tuxedo. There is also no reception or wedding cake to enjoy after the event. The ceremony will be done in a matter of a few minutes, my mother-in-law will take our son for the night to give us a rare chance to be alone, and we'll likely fall asleep watching TV together.

My husband was married once before to someone who wreaked havoc on his life and made him leery about remarrying when we met. Even when we discussed and agreed (there was no romantic proposal) to marry, we didn't have the means to do so, as we were struggling to make ends meet, so this prolonged our time as common law husband and wife. We also have a beautiful son who requires a lot of time and energy as a result of medical problems. My husband is on the road 98% of the time and I manage life at home the best I can. We still struggle, but life is finally bringing some good fortune our way.

This is my first marriage and it concerns me that I lack the sense of excitement that a first-time bride should feel. For me, my day will rank just above "the daily grind." I still find myself thinking in a singular manner: "My son" rather than "our son," or when giving our son a gift, I often forget to write "From Mommy and Daddy," I write "From Mommy." I never felt the sense of urgency to call my mother, who still lives a 1000 miles away in Ohio to tell her that we were finally getting married. She wound up finding out from my mother-in-law via email when being asked to help with the wedding costs (which she said she was unable to do--no surprise). My mother-in-law forgot to check with me to see if I had told my mother before she sent the email. Mother never congratulated us and has seemed indifferent to the occasion even though she was upset that we didn't cater to her timeline and set a date that would allow her to attend. The problem with that is, there is no way of us knowing when that will ever be. My in-laws, however, have been very supportive and thrilled about the event, and have helped with the expenses to make it happen.

It has taken me less than 1 month to plan the event, and we managed to acquire our marriage license, outfits, and accessories in less than 2 days. My own dress is nice, but can be worn repeatedly for other nice occasions - nothing fancy. My husband generally never dresses up (truckers seldom require good clothes), so his clothes will wind up hanging in the closet for an untold length of time before they are needed again. Our son's outfit will be outgrown before this year is over. Is this a bad omen? I wonder....