When I received my driver license in the mail (in Texas, your license is mailed to you), I groaned when I saw the photo of myself staring back at me. I've lost a good bit of weight since I moved here, so my face is now quite thin and I've slimmed down to my pre-baby size, but the photo that was on the card showed something completely different. I looked like a sunburned beached whale! The camera angle made my face look bloated (even though it really isn't), and the lighting made my face look flushed even though I have a nice tan now and was not burned at the time of the picture. I have always hated having my picture taken in the first place and such an experience only solidifies this dislike. I'm one of those unfortunate people who is not photogenic in any way; the camera simply doesn't like me. My looks are average, and I'm often told that I'm very pretty, but the images that the camera captures tell a much different (and inaccurate) story. I avoid having my picture taken as much as possible as a result. I know that inner beauty counts most, but if I'm going to see myself looking back at me, I'd like the mirror image to truly reflect the real person. Instead, I often find someone totally different looking back. Of the photos that have been taken of me as an adult, there are only two photographs that I am not embarrassed to show (if asked) and those were taken 10 and 15 years ago, respectively. The rest of the pictures can stay hidden in a photo album.
If I were to analyze this, I would have to ask myself: To what degree does society dictate our feelings about ourselves regarding outward appearance? In a world that idolizes a beautiful face and body and snubs those who do not meet the criteria, how far should a person go to appease society while still maintaining his/her integrity and still be able to feel comfortable with his/her body? Beauty is more than skin deep, but societal views emphasize the opposite through the media, which pervades everyday life and bombards us with images of what someone else feels should be considered ideal beauty. From the time we're babies, we witness how people react to others who look different from them, and from that exposure, we develop a our own sense of what is beautiful and what is ugly. Many feel pressured to conform to those ideals within themselves and for some, it comes at a high price. For those who are so comfortable with who they are that they just don't care and refuse to conform, they could be applauded for not succumbing to societal pressures, but what does the refusal to conform say about them in terms of their roles in society? To me, it seems to be human nature to conform to some degree in order to positively function in society. So when a person refuses to conform in terms of appearance (and even behavior), what is that person projecting to the world? What kind of life will such a person have if he/she refuses to at least conform to a small degree?
For myself, I try to at least look acceptable. I know that it is necessary if I'm going to obtain a good job, a promising career, make friends, etc. I'm no model, nor will I ever be, but I do know how to make myself presentable and project a positive image when I see fit or when the occasion absolutely calls for it. Otherwise, I'm content to be completely myself...I just wish photographers would take greater care in the angles they use when they photograph me!
4 comments:
Pamela,
I have too many thoughts to put them all down here, but here's a few. I'm not a model either, but when I was little my mother would never leave the house without fixing her hair and putting on lipstick, a habit I have adopted as an adult. On Sundays, when we went to church, we would all wear our best clothes in deference to God and the rest of the church-going community. Call it war paint, call it a beauty enhancer, but lipstick helps me shift from the private world of my home to the outer, public world. In the western world, "fixing" yourself up is a way of showing certain places and events the respect they require. Getting all dolled up was a way of saying, "this is important enough that I want to present my best self."
Today, I find the world has gotten so casual-- I've seen people at the grocery store wearing a bath robe and slippers. Is nothing special, then?
I happen to enjoy clothes and make-up and perfume. They make me feel like a civilized member of society. But my choices never compromise my comfort with myself and who I am. I wear the clothes - not they me.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
Rita
I've encountered others, like yourself, who practice the same kind of habits, but I never asked them why. In my own upbringing, my mother NEVER wore make-up or dolled herself up. I guess she never felt it necessary to do so. Being clothed appropriately for the occasion was all that mattered to her. I suppose her habits rubbed off on me. Honestly, the concept of dressing up being a way of showing respect to the outer world never entered my mind.
As a teenager and a young adult, I took the opposite path and wore make-up frequently (flag corp and theater aside - as make-up was a required part of the costuming). Dressing up was another story, though. I always dressed appropriately for whatever I was doing, but I never went above and beyond that. However, I think my motivation was more due to peer pressure rather than following my own path. I always had trouble fitting in and dolling myself up was my effort to be more accepted. Since those years, I've gotten out of the habit of dressing up and doing my hair and face. I still make sure I'm presentable, but I tend to place much less emphasis on my appearance than I used to. Perhaps I should rethink those habits.
I should thank you, as well, for providing another point of view that I had never thought of. It's certainly worth considering.
Thanks!
Pamela
Pamela,
I hope you don't mind if I take my inspiration from you and write about my ideas realted to this topic over the weekend?
Best,
Rita
Rita,
I have no objection to that. Please feel free to do so!
Slainte!
Pamela
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