The cute factor

Many parents are guilty of dressing their little ones to look as cute as a child could possibly be, and I'm among them. However, how much of our actions are really reflections of our own personality being projected onto our children? When parents make the choice between a simple stripped shirt and a t-shirt that has some witty comment on it, and opts for the witty comment, does that comment really reflect the parent making the purchase or the child? While much of my son's wardrobe consists of basic clothing, he also has stowed away in his dresser and closet shirts with smart remarks or cutesy pictures of Winnie the Pooh, Curious George, and Bob the Builder. But when it comes to the messages on his shirts, the messages are ones that attracted me to buy them, because I thought they were funny and fit my son's personality; however, if my son were to be the one to make that decision, would he have felt the same? In his room, one can find the following statements: "Happiness is a cookie in both hands," "Don't blame me, it was broken already," "Part Irish, All trouble," "Prince Charming," "Mom knows a lot but...Grandma knows it all!," "15% Dirt, 30% Bruises & Cuts, 25% Bumps, 30% Boo-Boos, 100% Boy." While I may think these statements are true, and think that having my son wear these statements on his chest is adorable, do they really reflect my child?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder - or does it?

Many have heard the old adage that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and for some people, this may be true, but for others, distance only serves to create a chasm between two people. My husband and I work well as a team, but I've noticed over the summer that we have gradually been going our separate ways - our interests taking us in different directions. I want to teach English and finally return to graduate school to get my Master of Arts degree. He loves life on the open road, driving a big rig, and hoping that I will eventually join him as a partner. While I love to travel, the life of a trucker is not for me. My tastes and interests are more refined, while his are more base and raw. During the few occasions when he's home, I've been embarrassed by him in public due to his inappropriate behavior, which has become more telling since he's become a truck driver. When I'm taking care of the house and errands, he's doing maintenance on the computer. The activities I would like to do together don't interest him and vice versa. In conversation, his thoughts are largely on trucking, while I crave more intellectual discussion involving subjects of which he knows little to nothing about, rendering him incapable of participating.


The most worrying aspect of these thoughts is that we recently made our marriage official. We've been together 4 years and functioned as a husband and wife the whole time, but only now have made it legal. And the only impetus for finally marrying was so he could put me on his health insurance. I wonder about how long our marriage will last if we continue going in separate directions. I'm sure many words have been left unsaid by both of us, neither one wanting to acknowledge that anything's wrong and afraid to rock the boat. I know he's lonely on the road, yet loves his career at the same time, but what he needs, I'm not able to provide from home. I know that he's already had one close call with infidelity, but whether he's told me the whole story is hard to tell.


Although I do care for him and we work well together, I often wonder if marriage was the right thing to do. When all is quiet in the house and I've only my thoughts to occupy me, doubt fills me inside. His family is thrilled that we finally made the committment, but they are unaware of the strain that our relationship must overcome.

Church bloopers

On Wednesday evenings, I have rehearsal for chancel choir at church. This Sunday, we are installing a new pastor, so everyone is trying to make everything perfect for the occasion. The church bulletins are always ready to go by the time we have our rehearsals and during this past rehearsal, we discovered a typo on one page. Office staff had gone over the text several times, yet they still managed to miss this error. Thankfully, it was very minor, but there's always the potential for errors to reach comical and unforgetable proportions. The typo reminded me of some favorite church bloopers that have circulated on the internet, and since it is Friday, I thought it would be nice to begin the weekend with a good laugh.

Never let it be said that the church doesn't have a sense of humor - even if it is accidental! The following bloopers give a whole new meaning to the importance of proofreading before you print. These sentences ( with all the BLOOPERS ) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practise.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Beauty in Society

When I received my driver license in the mail (in Texas, your license is mailed to you), I groaned when I saw the photo of myself staring back at me. I've lost a good bit of weight since I moved here, so my face is now quite thin and I've slimmed down to my pre-baby size, but the photo that was on the card showed something completely different. I looked like a sunburned beached whale! The camera angle made my face look bloated (even though it really isn't), and the lighting made my face look flushed even though I have a nice tan now and was not burned at the time of the picture. I have always hated having my picture taken in the first place and such an experience only solidifies this dislike. I'm one of those unfortunate people who is not photogenic in any way; the camera simply doesn't like me. My looks are average, and I'm often told that I'm very pretty, but the images that the camera captures tell a much different (and inaccurate) story. I avoid having my picture taken as much as possible as a result. I know that inner beauty counts most, but if I'm going to see myself looking back at me, I'd like the mirror image to truly reflect the real person. Instead, I often find someone totally different looking back. Of the photos that have been taken of me as an adult, there are only two photographs that I am not embarrassed to show (if asked) and those were taken 10 and 15 years ago, respectively. The rest of the pictures can stay hidden in a photo album.

If I were to analyze this, I would have to ask myself: To what degree does society dictate our feelings about ourselves regarding outward appearance? In a world that idolizes a beautiful face and body and snubs those who do not meet the criteria, how far should a person go to appease society while still maintaining his/her integrity and still be able to feel comfortable with his/her body? Beauty is more than skin deep, but societal views emphasize the opposite through the media, which pervades everyday life and bombards us with images of what someone else feels should be considered ideal beauty. From the time we're babies, we witness how people react to others who look different from them, and from that exposure, we develop a our own sense of what is beautiful and what is ugly. Many feel pressured to conform to those ideals within themselves and for some, it comes at a high price. For those who are so comfortable with who they are that they just don't care and refuse to conform, they could be applauded for not succumbing to societal pressures, but what does the refusal to conform say about them in terms of their roles in society? To me, it seems to be human nature to conform to some degree in order to positively function in society. So when a person refuses to conform in terms of appearance (and even behavior), what is that person projecting to the world? What kind of life will such a person have if he/she refuses to at least conform to a small degree?

For myself, I try to at least look acceptable. I know that it is necessary if I'm going to obtain a good job, a promising career, make friends, etc. I'm no model, nor will I ever be, but I do know how to make myself presentable and project a positive image when I see fit or when the occasion absolutely calls for it. Otherwise, I'm content to be completely myself...I just wish photographers would take greater care in the angles they use when they photograph me!

Like mother, like daughter

This is a 3-generation photo of my grandmother, mother, and myself in
November 1969. I was 5 months old then.

The bond between a mother and daughter should be something precious, but in many families, that bond is weak. I will be 40 next year and as I look back on my life, it becomes apparent how alike I am to my own mother, and how much alike she is to her mother, my grandmother.

Many of us go through childhood with hopes and dreams that only youth can conjure, but as life delivers its hardships, joys, and tears, some of those hopes and dreams are dashed, while others live on in our hearts but are never realized. My own grandmother had such hopes for herself and possibly expected my grandfather to give her more than he could deliver. For the longest time, I have seen my grandparents gradually grow more distant from each other, with my grandfather relegated to the kitchen, while my eldest aunt and grandmother reside in the living room. Two years ago, my grandmother lost her last living sister to heart problems and Alzheimers, and since then, she has quickly gone downhill and now stays in a hospital bed in the living room refusing to walk and essentially waiting to die. She only wants to be with her parents and sisters, rather than to stay around to watch her great-grandchildren grow up or stay with her husband; she no longer embraces life. She doesn't realize how valued she is by her family, nor does she realize her own self-worth. She doesn't communicate with grandpa much anymore, certain that he doesn't really care about her or love her and refuses to let anyone convince her otherwise. When she gets upset at someone, she's quick to give her classic silent treatment than can last some time.

I find that my own mother is beginning to follow in grandma's footsteps. For her, the glass is half-empty, not half-full. She's convinced that everyone is right and she's always wrong. Her look on life is full of negativity, failing to realize that she is the one in control of her own future and that she needs to stop hanging on to real or imagined slights and other negative experiences. Granted, letting go of these feelings is not easy when you've carried them for so long; I'm guilty of hanging on to a few bad events in my life, but I don't allow them to control me. Like my grandmother, she is not happy with her lot in life, yet she refuses to go out and make the desired changes happen. She doesn't recognize her own self-worth or value, and she goes through her days unhappy and finding fault with anything and anyone who gives her cause for grief. For all of this, my relationship with my mother has become strained. While I do love my mother and do my best to be a good daughter, I often find myself at the receiving end of her grousing. Even when I'm not the source of her grief, she feels it necessary to carry on a dialogue of negative thinking. When I try to instill positive thoughts in her, she shoots them down with more negative comments.

For myself, while I do tend to give the silent treatment when I'm upset at someone (like my grandmother), and feel like I've been handed a few too many lemons in life (like my mother), unlike them, I try to make lemonade, continually hoping that the next horizon will bring something better my way. I try to steer clear of negative people for my own benefit, so it's no surprise that I don't talk with my mother as much as I should. Also unlike them, I'm forever hopeful that my dreams will come to fruition somehow, someway. I refuse to delve too deeply into the realm of negativity, for once you begin to go down, it becomes increasingly difficult to bring yourself back up to the surface, where the sun is shining.

I can only hope and pray that I have broken that chain of thought that has pervaded the minds of my grandmother and mother. Life will always hand you lemons, so the best that anyone can do is to keep hoping for something better tomorrow.

A meal-in-one

One of the challenges I face when feeding my son is to keep his meals interesting in terms of taste and texture, while keeping the nutritional value relatively high. Also, I've noticed that he's becoming more finicky as time goes on and I'm hoping that it's just his way of exerting his independence. Overall, my son isn't a picky eater and will eat a wide variety of foods (thankfully!), but how those foods are presented can make the difference between him eating his meal and turning his nose to it.

So far, he has some particular favorites that seem to survive his changes in appetite. One is a meal of scrambled eggs, sausage patties (perhaps with a bit of syrup), hashbrown patty, and cherry tomatoes with Dari-free milk and juice to wash it down. Another is a sort of stove-top casserole for the lack of a better description. What's nice about it is that it so versatile, it makes a lot so that you can end up with a few days' worth of lunch for work, it's healthy, and it has 4 major food groups: grain, meat, vegetable, and fruit. If you're looking for something easy to make, this would be it. Here's what you need:
1-2 cups of frozen vegetables (mixed veggies or perhaps a single vegetable-it's up to you)
1 pound ground meat (beef, turkey, or chicken work very well)
1 package of pasta (i.e. rotini, or some other small shape will work-we use rotini)
1 14.5oz can of diced tomatoes
1 26oz jar of tomato sauce (any kind)

Separately and at the same time, cook the pasta and ground meat, and steam the vegetables. The veggies and meat will be done first, so just keep them warm 'til the pasta is done. When the pasta is cooked, drain and return to the pot. Put in the meat and veggies, then add the diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. Stir everything together.

I add parmesan cheese to my servings, but since my son can't have dairy foods, he takes his without any cheese topping.

Tropical Storm Edouard

Plastered on the weather news is the fifth storm of the season, Tropical Storm Edouard. Technically, I'm in the Gulf Coast region, so this storm does affect me. Strangely, though, I feel no sense of trepidation over this event. Should Edouard's boundaries reach out to my area, it would be my first experience with a tropical storm/hurricane. The adventurous side of me is eagerly waiting to see what Edouard will bring our way, while the practical side of me understands that this should be taken seriously, and I should begin to prepare for the effects of the storm. Perhaps this is why I have yet to really begin the process of battening down the hatches. I haven't even begun to secure the deck furniture or the trash bin that sit outside. My son's yard toys need to be gathered. I also need to locate my oil lamps in the storage shed. At least we have back-up lighting, non-perishable food and water, and rope to secure the outdoor items ready to go.

UPDATE: Since I typed this, I have, indeed, begun to prepare for the worst scenario. We are under warning for possible tornadoes, flash flooding, high winds, and heavy rain and I live a mile or less from a major reservoir/lake. Everything that could become a missile in high winds has been secured into the shed, my son and cats are packed and ready to go should the need to evacuate arise, and I have my important papers ready, as well. I just need to get myself ready. Here's hoping that the storm won't be too serious. Also, I noticed as I was clearing the yard that I heard no birds singing and the cicadas weren't chirping. The air was more quiet than usual - I wonder....

Time for a good long laugh

People say that laughter is the best medicine, and I understand that there is research that supports the fact that laughter is healthy for you. Since I'm in need of a really good laugh, I thought I would share some funny pictures with you, and I found a nice selection to choose from. Some of them are a bit risque for younger viewers, but if you understand some of the suggestions in the pictures, chances are you're already old enough to view them anyway. If these aren't sufficient for a long laugh, please consult the following website for more giggles: http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/signs/signpost68.htm

Just another ordinary day - or is it?

On a whim, I wondered what, if any, important events took place on this day. Many of us go through life blissfully ensconced in our own little worlds while events of significance play out in other parts of the globe. After all, we have our own problems, right? Why do we need to have others' problems on our minds, too? Yet, despite that mentality, it seems to me that it is important to, at least, acknowledge world events, because down the road, some of these events will eventually affect us directly or indirectly. As I looked up the history of August 3rd, I was reminded of events that have happened in my own lifetime that I have completely forgotten, but when I read about them in relation to current events, it is amazing how little has changed in how humans get along - or can't get along, as the case may be.

Here's what I've found for the history of August 3rd:

1981 U.S.A. Air Traffic Controllers Strike 3rd August 1981 : 13,000 Air traffic controllers walked off the job today in hopes that the U.S. federal government would agree to their demands for better pay. President Ronald Reagan had warned them they would be fired if they went on strike and a short time later he did have them fired.

1914 World War I Declaration Of War 3rd August 1914 : Germany and France Declare war on the other signaling the beginning of the first World War

1923 U.S.A. Calvin Coolidge Sworn In As President 3rd August 1923 : Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as president of the United States after learning that President Warren Harding had collapsed and died while visiting California the day before. He was sworn in by his father, Colonel John C. Coolidge at his father's farmhouse in Plymouth, Vermont.

1940 England World War II 3rd August 1940 : British troops hammered the Germans with air raids which the former claimed as “a smashing success”. Supplies, harbours, and airplane hangers were targeted in over 100 German cities. The British hoped to smash the Nazi blitzkrieg at its source.However, in retaliation, German war planes retaliated by bombing north western England.

1957 Cuba Fidel Castro 3rd August 1957 : Rebel resistance and strikes were plaguing President Fulgenico Batista’s government in Cuba. Fidel Castro’s forces poured down from their secret mountain hide- out to fight with Batista’s troops. A news blackout was in effect. The revolutionary stronghold in Santiago De Cuba had armed men demand gas from a gas station and then set fire to it.

1958 North Pole Nautilus 3rd August 1958 : The US Nuclear Submarine Nautilus is the first undersea vessel to reach the Geographic North Pole.

1961 U.S.A. Arms Build Up During Cold War 3rd August 1961 : President John F. Kennedy got approval from Congress to spend $958 million to purchase missiles, planes, and war ships to bolster the American military.This arms build up was felt to be needed because of the communist threat to West Berlin and other areas. Kennedy got powers from Congress to call 250,000 reservists into active duty and to extend their tour of duty for one year.

1977 U.S.A. CIA and Mind Control 3rd August 1977 : As of today the CIA has spent a total of $25 million over 25 years started in 1950 to study mind control and brainwashing. Research was done by Dr. D. Ewen Cameron on sensory deprivation, isolation, and his own methods of “psychic driving”. He did these experiments at McGill University in Montreal. The psychiatric patients that Cameron used as subjects were damaged for life. The CIA also funded drug experiments on patients and staff at Memorial Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Brainwashing experiments were also done at Cornell University Medical Center and Dr. Carl Pfeiffer did LSD studies on federal inmates in Atlanta, and the Bordentown Reformatory in New Jersey from 1955-64.

1978 Lebanon Israel Bombs Southern Lebanon 3rd August 1978 : Israel retaliates after Palestinian terrorists bomb a Tel Aviv market by sending in bombers to a guerrilla base southern Lebanon.

1978 Canada Commonwealth Games 3rd August 1978 : The Queen opens the 11th Commonwealth Games in Edmonton, Canada.

1982 U.S.A. Sodomy Arrest 3rd August 1982 : Michael Hardwick is arrested for sodomy after a police officer observes him having sex with another man in his own bedroom in Georgia. In 1986, the Supreme Court handed down its decision in Bowers v. Hardwick, ruling by a 5-4 vote that states could continue to treat certain types of consensual sex as criminal acts.

1989 Soviet Union Flight 007 Case Settled 3rd August 1989 : Flight 007, a Korean Air Lines plane, shot down in Soviet territory six years ago killing all 269 passengers. After 6 years 137 family members won $50 million in damages. In court the jury deemed that the pilot was guilty of “wilful misconduct”.

1990 Great Britain Heat Wave 3rd August 1990 : Great Britain is in the grips of a heat wave and the highest recorded temperature in modern recorded history is recorded at Nailstone, Leicestershire of 37.1C, or 99F, .The 1990 the record is broken during the August heat wave of 2003 when a temperature 38.5C or 101.3F was recorded Brogdale, Kent.

2003 U.S.A. Anglican Church Approves Gay Bishop 3rd August 2003 : The Anglican Church has voted to approve the appointment of Mr Robinson an openly gay bishop who has lived with his male partner for 14 years.

2004 U.S.A. Statue of Liberty 3rd August 2004 : The Statue of Liberty was reopened for tourists for the first time since the Sept. 11 attacks.

1918 Russia Germans Killed 3rd August 1918 : Russian revolutionaries killed 700 Germans in a blast at Kiev, which indicates a terror campaign has started against the German oppressors. Also, Field Marshal Von Eachhorns was murdered, his assassin fleeing from Russia.

1931 U.S.A. Sheep In Texas 3rd August 1931 : Old time sheep ranchers in San Angelo, Texas recall that the first sheep were brought into West Texas in 1875 by John Arden who drove the animals from California. Arden died a couple of years later, but his widow started a partnership with Chas. B. Metcalf and fenced in 20,000 acres for the sheep. The fencing was unique as it was wire netting, which had never been seen in the area before. The Arden farm had an enormous number of sheep.

2004 U.S.A. Savannah River Research Campus 3rd August 2004 : Dr. Bill Summers, a key scientist looked on as dignitaries turned the sod on the Savannah River Research Campus which was built for researching hydrogen as an alternative fuel source. A total of 9.2 million was spent on the project. Forty to fifty top scientists will be working on the new venture, hopefully starting a new era of universities and business cooperating to solve the energy crisis.