Birdsongs

One of the upsides to living in a heavily wooded community is the wildlife that lives among us. Around my own property, I've had the pleasure of watching wild rabbits grazing, geckos congregating on my deck at night, dragonflies sweeping to and fro, and crimson-red cardinals flying from one side of my yard to the other. Of course, there's always a downside, too. We also have copperheads, cottonmouths, and a few other poisonous snakes, in addition to the lovely fire ants that like to leave mounds of dirt dotting mown yards and attack unsuspecting people who absently walk near their colonies.

But back to happy thoughts...every morning, I'm awakened by the sounds of songbirds singing their morning calls. While I don't possess a trained ear to identify which birds are singing to the world, I can still appreciate the beauty of their music. In my area, we have Blue Jays, Cardinals, Great Tailed Grackels, Great & Little Blue Herons, Egrets, Hummingbirds, Black Vultures, Commerants, Chickadees, Long Billed Curlews, White Ibises, and Mocking Birds - just to name a few. There are more that I haven't named. I've even heard the tell-tale sounds of woodpeckers in the trees surrounding my home. Even though I've never seriously pursued the hobby of birding, I've always loved birds and the beauty they bring to our world. I'm even fond of our birds of prey, especially eagles and owls. If you haven't paid much attention to their songs or really watched how birds soar above us, do so. It's worth your time.

Speaking plainly

Since last year, my son and I have been a part of a seemingly never-ending process of specialists trying to learn more about my son's disorder and to hopefully see if there is something that modern medical science can locate as the source for his diagnosis. Today, we spent yet another afternoon in Houston for a follow-up meeting with my son's pediatric neurologist. Thankfully, all of the tests that he had ordered a few months back returned normal, with only a few minor issues. A day before his 3rd birthday, my son went through a full day of diagnostics via 2 MRIs, an EEG, and more blood work. The only issue that came up was a few vitamin deficiencies.

During all medical visits, my mother-in-law accompanies me so that she is on the same page as I am regarding his medical care; she is VERY involved in seeing to his needs, even to the point of managing the purchases of some key dietary requirements. In today's visit, both of us had to work hard to fully understand what the neurologist was telling us. My experience in giving presentations made me aware of his inability to speak on our level. He would say "um" several times in every sentence he uttered. He had difficulty explaining the neurological aspects that he was interested in regarding my son. We had to ask him several times about the differences between milliliters and micrograms and how many micrograms are in a milliliter (neither my mother-in-law, nor I, are well-versed in metrics or their conversions). My son's blood work found a deficiency in the vitamins B-12 and Carnitine. Vitamin B-12 is essential for the maintenance of nerve and red blood cells and is also responsible for making DNA in all cells, and autism research has found this deficiency to be common among autistic children. Carnitine is essential to energy production, transporting long-chain fatty acids to the mitochondria to be oxidized, thereby producing energy for the body. He tried to tell us that these deficiencies needed to be reversed by supplemental intake based on micrograms and that it was not so much doing a conversion between milliliters and micrograms, but more about the ratios between my son's size, the requirements for a child his age, and the amounts he would need to reverse the deficiencies.

One of our biggest hurdles through this medical maze is the jargon that we must work to understand. I've had some doctors who are great at breaking down conversations into layman's terms, but I've also had some doctors, such as this one, who are more adept at speaking with people who are already indoctrinated into the world of medicine and understand the terminology. Thankfully, I'm good with words and I was able to translate much of what he said, but my gift of words goes only so far. I'm still scratching my head trying to absorb today's conversation. There's much to be said for speaking plainly.

As a side note, after our meeting with the neurologist, my little boy went through another round of blood work, amounting to approximately 10 vials of blood for a genetic chromosomal microarray analysis, which is a more refined examination of his chromosomes for any deletions or replications in his DNA codes. This is to see if there are any rare genetic disorders that could be the cause behind his delays in cognitive development. This test has the potential to not only pick up on previously unknown genetic problems, but also to provide important medical information to the rest of the family regarding any problems in our genetic makeup that could become a factor in the birth of future children. After this, I think it's time to stop with the tests. His only problems have been in the area of nutrition, and while he has a very healthy diet, this doesn't mean that he's metabolizing nutrients the way his body should. It's just a matter of tweaking his diet to make up for what he can't do for himself.

"The Stolen Child"

There's much more to Yeats' poetry than I can explain in a few minutes. I love Irish folklore, so this will have to do till tomorrow. This work is among my favorites.

The Stolen Child
William Butler Yeats
poem
Crossways
1889

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water-rats;
There we've hid our faery vats,
Full of berries
And of reddest stolen cherries.

Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you
can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.

Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you
Can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,.
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams.

Come away, O human child!
To to waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For to world's more full of weeping than you
Can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn-eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal-chest.
For he comes, the human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
From a world more full of weeping than he
Can understand.

The need to indulge

My copy of The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word "indulge" as such: "To yield to the desires and whims of; humor. 2.a. To yield to; gratify; indulge a craving for chocolate. b. To allow (oneself) a special pleasure."

For me, everyday requires a little indulgence, and being a very malleable person, I readily yield to my whims. My leanings are very predictable: chocolate, ice cream, Starbucks mocha frappuccino, a trip to the mall, a day spent browsing through Barnes & Noble, and at least one small, inexpensive purchase for the day. I don't require all of these each time, but I often opt for one or two of these each day. Lately, my daily treat has been 3-4 Ferrero Rocher hazelnut chocolates with a cold Starbucks mocha frappuccino. As indulgences go, they are relatively inexpensive and easily acquired. Given my love of shopping (which, thankfully, I'm able to control), the price tag for treating myself could be much worse.

Today's world is far too chaotic and it's no wonder that so many people eventually go off the deep end in one way or another. If a small daily indulgence can make the difference between being stressed and letting go of that stress, I say indulge away!

The philosophy of life

On our wedding night, my husband and I took a walk through our local Barnes & Noble bookstore while waiting for our movie to begin at a nearby theater. While there, we browsed through their audio and visual media, made our purchases and prepared to leave. While weaving our way through the philosophy section, a small book caught my eye and I was compelled to buy it. The book is entitled, "Essentials of Philosophy," by James Mannion. Mannion's book discusses the basic concepts of the many tenets that influence peoples' lives. It has been several years since I took a philosophy course, and I was feeling a bit rusty at this higher level of thinking (it's amazing what you forget when you don't utilize any given subject for a long while). I have been craving this kind of mental stimulation, so I felt my new book would, at least, get the wheels turning again without sending my brain into a tizzy.

I've always kept an open mind regarding the various philosophical/religious ideologies that exist in our world, and I can often understand the logic behind most of these theories. This makes it difficult for me to feel a sense of identity to any one dogma. While my beliefs are Christian-based, I'm too open-minded to embrace the Bible completely. Some of my personal beliefs fly in the face of what I've been taught in church and by my family. I believe that the Bible is just one piece of a huge puzzle that explains the true meaning of life and afterlife. I also feel that no one belief has all of the answers to the universe; there is always some aspect to be questioned. However, upon browsing through my new philosophy book, one line of thinking stood out more than the others. The Native Americans have always had a very close relationship with Mother Earth and they have understood that the relationship between earth and all living things is symbiotic. To me, this tenet makes a lot of sense to me.

Mannion offers a very good summary of the Native American belief system: "Everything is connected, and humans are just one small part of the cosmic Big Picture. Like Heraclitus, the Indians believe that the cycle of life is one of constant change, but not chaotic or meaningless change. Everything is happening for a purpose, even if we do not understand what that purpose may be. People have a body and a spirit, and there is a spiritual world that is as real as the world we see and experience with our five senses.

We are here on this earth to learn. The optimum conditions for learning require a balance of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our nature. We will be given help from the spirits if we ask for it. Achieving your maximum human potential is where it's at, and the only real sin against God is failure to use whatever gifts God has given you for your own good and the good of the community."

In the Native American philosophy, there is only one God regardless of your religion. Mannion states: "They believe that just as your are what you eat, you are what God made you. [...]You are not stained with Original Sin, you are not inherently wicked (after all, God made you), and therefore you do not need a savior to redeem you." Additionally, in the idea of the Medicine Wheel, Mannion makes some reference to Carl Jung's concept of individuation, which integrates the various aspects of one's body, mind, and spirit to bring about inner harmony. In the Medicine Wheel, there are four spokes, which represent the four directions of the earth: north, south, east, west. Each of these directions is assigned a color and an animal that possesses qualities associated with the direction. To me, these directions also represent the key components of human nature, as well as the stages of life that each of us will go through.

In his description of Native American philosphy, Mannion mentions a work entitled, "Black Elk Speaks," which is based upon conversations between a Sioux Indian named Black Elk and poet John G. Neihardt. Through Black Elk, Neihardt learns about the Native Americans' perspective on life and their dealings with the white, Anglo-American people who have taken over the lands they once called home and destroyed their more austere way of life. I have yet to read this work, but I when I get a chance, I will. I want to learn more.

Same but different

On Saturday, I walked down the aisle for the first time. Even though I was a first-time bride, having been married by common-law for 4 years (regardless of legal recognition), the specialness of the moment felt diminished. The excitement that I'd always hoped to have on my wedding day just wasn't there. My in-laws were thrilled that we finally got married, but my husband and I felt less enthusiastic - as if we were just going through the motions to please everyone else but ourselves. This morning, my husband commented that it (our wedding day) was just another day, just something that needed to be done. He's already been married once before and that union was a disaster; his mind has been jaded by that first experience.

To a small extent there was some specialness in the occasion and I'll still chronicle the event through keepsakes and pictures as most other brides would do, but life goes on as usual with plenty of errands to be taken care of along with our regular weekly schedule. That this moment has come and gone so quietly bothers me. There are times when I wonder if we've done the right thing...even after we've said our vows. We do get along well and work well as a team, but I've noticed that since my husband has been on the road, our differences have become more telling. I find myself more annoyed by his habits and his devil-may-care attitude when out in public. I'm also more anxious when he comes home; I'm more comfortable with my role in our relationship when I'm on my own and in charge of the household. At every home visit, our schedule is completely turned upside down and life feels more disrupted. Perhaps this stems from being single for so long. I'm accustomed to calling the shots and being completely in charge, but in marriage, responsibilities must be shared. Although we've been together for 4 years, I was as single as one could be before I met him; I was 35 years old when we met - a long time to be alone and independent. It becomes easy to get set in your ways in that length of time. Additionally, he lacks the social graces that would make me more comfortable while in his company; however, despite his faults, he is a good man, attentive husband, and loving father, and I try to see beyond what's on the surface and forgive him his shortcomings. Yet, I can't help feeling that the longer he's on the road, the more distant we'll become in our relationship. Like the military, the trucking industry has a very high divorce rate and I can see why just from what I'm experiencing...I'm concerned that our relationship will resemble that of good friends who happen to be married than a true couple who are connected in every way. Only God knows how this will play out.