The Invisible Hand

I've had a handful of odd experiences in my life that, to some extent, defy reason. One event that has stayed with me through the years occurred 20 years ago during a stay with the family of a childhood friend.

It was the summer of 1988 and I had just finished my first year of college in Columbia, SC. At that time, home was in a quiet suburb of Dayton, OH. I was happy to be back, having not adjusted well to being so far away during my first year of school; I was preparing to attend a different school that was much closer and within my home state. Shortly after I returned home, I reconnected with my friend, Lisa. Her mother had remarried while I was gone and her new husband was moving the family to southern Michigan. His father had died a short time before and left his house and land to his son. Lisa's new stepfather had two sons from a previous marriage and now he was becoming a father to Lisa's two younger sisters, Angie and Roxy. Lisa was married and the mother of two sons at this time. By the time I had returned, Lisa's mother, Mary, and sisters had already moved to Michigan, and Lisa wanted to drive up there to see her family. I was invited to come along for the ride, as her family knew me well.

When we arrived at the house, Lisa's new stepbrothers were gone for the week, so I was given their room to sleep in. Lisa slept in the family room, and her sons stayed in the guest room where a play pen was set up for them to sleep in. Before we had turned in for our first night there, Mary's new husband told us that they believed the house to be haunted by his father. His father loved his home and they felt that he never moved on after the boating accident that took his life. I didn't think much of it at that time; I had never experienced a haunting before then.

The boys' room was a tiny, narrow space that could be better classified as a large closet. Due to its small size, the boys had bunk beds and a single upright dresser. The door to the cellar was located in this room, as well. A single window was positioned across from the cellar door. I took the bottom bunk and settled in for the night. I could hear the TV outside the doorway, as Lisa watched an old black and white horror B movie in the family room. As I lay on my back waiting for sleep to take over, I heard a distinct knocking coming from the cellar door. Everyone was already in bed, so I knew that no one was behind that door. The hand behind the knocking was clearly from an unknown and unseen force. Despite the realization that I wasn't quite alone in my room, I never felt threatened or uneasy. Somehow, I knew that no harm would come to me. The rapping was steady and solid; however, as I turned my head to the sound, the rapping would stop. I would turn my head back to its original position, facing up to the ceiling, and the rapping would resume. I repeated this motion several times, noticing a pattern of cause and effect between the position of my head and the rapping. I finally turned onto my side to sleep and the rapping ceased for the rest of the night.

In the morning, Lisa told me that she had seen a shadowy figure standing in the kitchen, which was directly off of the family room, separated by an extension of countertop. She described the shadow as human in form, but lacking any detail. At that time, I took her account with a grain of salt; I found her story hard to believe. In retrospect, though, her description is consistent with the theories regarding paranormal visitations. Theoretically, ghosts can manifest themselves in a variety of ways, one of them being as shadowy figures in human form, but without detail.

While some people may discount this experience due to the possibility of suggestion upon hearing that the house may be haunted and the fact that Lisa had the TV tuned to a horror film within my earshot, I know what I heard and experienced. I'm not into horror films, so I had no interest in viewing the film. Therefore, the dialogue that I heard held little meaning to me. Also, as I had not had any experiences with hauntings, much less entertained any interest in the paranormal at that time, prior to this trip, I had no reason to dwell on the matter.

I was visited one more time during that week, but after that, I had no further experiences. I have no idea what has transpired within those four walls since then. I've not had any contact with Lisa since I returned to school that fall. I would love to learn what has taken place since my stay there so many years ago.

Creature of Habit

Most of the time, I loathe routine; I require variety in most aspects of my life. I become bored too easily and when I become bored, I quickly lose interest. However, I have noticed that even though I prefer a more spontaneous lifestyle, I am a creature of habit. I have routines that I follow every morning and throughout the day. From the way I get ready in the morning to how I clean my home, I have set methods that I've subconsciously established - my actions are automatic, and if I try to stray from routine, I find that I'm not pleased with the end results. Yet, when I look at others, like my mother, whose life is very staid and predictable, I mentally shake my head and think, "What a boring life; I don't want to live that way! They aren't living their lives to their fullest." Realizing this contradiction, there are some questions that must be asked: How spontaneous am I really? Is my disdain for routine actually a symptom of some other desire that is not being fulfilled? What is it that I really need to feel content inside? I suspect many people feel this way - feeling the need for more excitement than they are receiving from their daily activities, yet finding themselves doing the same actions repeatedly without really thinking about what they're doing.

How well do we really know ourselves?

Daily Blessings

Today, I observed a fellow aide in another room working with her students. She doesn't teach them, rather, she assists them in their daily tasks. I will be subbing for her tomorrow, so it was important for me to understand what I was going to be doing.

Her students are identical twins who will never be able to walk, speak with ease, or live life unassisted. Their afflictions are many, so they must rely upon others to help them perform tasks that we often take for granted: using the bathroom, bathing, eating, dressing. While their minds are agile and they are clever and intelligent, their bodies just don't work the way they are supposed to. On the outside, they look like teenage boys; on the inside, they are as vulnerable as small children and require as much care as babies. Both boys supposedly possess the intellectual capacity of an 18-month old, yet they demonstrate repeatedly that they are more clever than that.

It is obvious that they have a wonderful network of people caring for them. The twins arrive to school properly dressed, with snacks and lunches, they know the meaning of love and offer it freely to the ladies who help teach them how to manage self-care skills. They readily give hugs and kisses, and they are quick to pull jokes on the staff. Their attitude towards life is so positive despite the lives they lead that it's hard not to see what a blessing they are to those of us who are able-bodied. Their positive outlook amid adversity should serve as a lesson to the rest of us that no matter what our problems are, the choice is ours as to whether we are happy or sad with our lots in life.

A Busy Mom's Wish List

Now that school is in session, free time is in short supply during the work week. The following would be my wish list to make life easier Monday through Friday:

1. A naturally dust-free house.

2. Laundry that washes itself.

3. A lawn that will only grow when I tell it to.

4. Cats that sift their own litter box and keep their litter IN the box!

5. A personal chef (yeah, right!)

6. A personal masseuse (I'm in the first phases of spinal degeneration and scoliosis - my back is often stiff and sore).

7. Free maid service once a week.

8. A bottomless gas tank.

9. More hours in a day.

10. More time to sleep.

Most of these wishes are just that - wishes - unrealistic though they may be. It never hurts to dream!

Vaccinations and Conflicts of Interest

Since my son's diagnosis last year, the possible damage done to him by the standard vaccine schedule weighs heavily on my mind. There are many theories about the cause(s) of autism and some of them involve the preservatives found in vaccines, as well as the vaccines themselves, as some children actually become sick with the very illness that a given vaccine was intended to guard against. Amid the raging debate exists a theory of conspiracy that questions the private interests of the pharmaceutical companies and our government. While I stop short of claiming to believe in the many theories floating about, their arguments give me reason to seriously question the wisdom of the current trend of giving multiple vaccinations to small children before their immune systems are mature enough to tolerate these injections and to wonder about the real motivation behind the push to vaccinate so heavily during infancy and childhood.

Today, I received an email from my mother-in-law that included some content that she received from the PROVE Newsletter regarding this matter. PROVE stands for Parents Requesting Open Vaccine Education. The newsletter discusses the various arguments surrounding the push for vaccines and the companies and individuals behind the pushing. In the newsletter, Barbara Loe Fisher writes: "When you connect the dots in a "Follow the Vaccine Money" exercise, you don't have to look very far to see who is paying who to promote unquestioning faith in the safety of vaccines and one- size-fits-all vaccine policies. It takes a lot of money for the drug companies and their allies to persuade parents that it is necessary to pump 69 doses of 16 vaccines into children from birth to age 18 to keep them healthy." While the quote that I just used comes from the newsletter, it originates from her blog, "Vaccine Awakening." The entry is entitled: "Voices For Hiding Vaccine Risks: Follow the $." If you want to read more, her blog site is: http://www.vaccineawakening.blogspot.com/.

According to recent investigations (if I understand correctly) by CBS News to determine a financial conflict of interest by drug companies and pro-vaccine organizations, the companies, organizations, and individuals they questioned refused to provide financial statements that could have vindicated them and supported their denial of financial interest in the push for vaccines. Although I understand that finances are private matters, these companies/people serve the populace; therefore, such affairs should be made available when their integrity is questioned. Their refusal to cooperate with the investigation makes me even more suspicious; if they are innocent of this conflict of interest, and fiscal records can prove their innocence, then why withhold this information?

These same people continue to try to convince parents that their children are in no danger, yet the various disorders that are occurring at increasing rates seem to coincide with the use of vaccines. They fail to understand that no one is disputing the importance of vaccination, rather the heavy use of them in early childhood. Those who do see a correlation between autism/ADHD/Asperger's Syndrome, etc. and vaccinations believe that an alternate schedule should be implemented that will still provide all of the necessary protection before children begin school, yet allows their immune systems time to mature enough to tolerate the multitude of shots given to them.

Only time (and more research) will tell the truth, but should there truly be a financial conflict of interest by those who claim to serve, I would not be surprised. While altruism is a noble act, when money enters the picture, motivations can change in a heartbeat.

Word Play

I've never been a big fan of games; I've always had trouble allowing myself to relax and just have fun. Whenever I'm at a party where games are being played, I am the one observing from a distance. When I do find myself in the mood to play around, I usually opt for those games that can be played alone, such as computer solitaire or NTN trivia at BW3 (which I haven't played in a long time - I'm just too busy these days). However, there is one computer game that I particularly enjoy playing at home and it gives my brain a greater workout than solitaire: Word Whomp at http://www.pogo.com. While you can subscribe to this site, they also allow you to play for free. You just need to be willing to put up with the 30 second intermissions between game sets. If you subscribe, the intermissions are omitted and you can play one game after another uninterrupted. Word Whomp is a game that tests your vocabulary. It's sort of like Wheel of Fortune and Scrabble blended together for the lack of a better definition. Although I do have a decent vocabulary, this game has introduced me to words that I never knew existed - only because I've either never heard them used by another person or I've never seen the words used in text. The hard part of the game is trying to figure out what words the game wants you to form and to accomplish it in a matter of a few minutes. If you have kids, I think that this is a good game to get kids hooked on to help with their spelling and vocabulary.