Things children say.

Since entering the classroom at the elementary level, I continue to be surprised by some of the words that come of childrens' mouths these days (even though I really shouldn't be considering the world they live in). One of my favorite recollections happened in a 1st grade classroom. The teacher's lesson plan included a timed math test. When it came time to do the math, I told the students that I would count down to begin the test. I began to count down the seconds as I waited for the second hand to hit 12 on the wall clock. The students voluntarily counted down with me. I gave them the signal to begin their test and as I observed the kids working their problems, one little boy just sat there doing nothing. This kid had been distractable and unable to stay on task all morning. I informed him that the test had begun and he told me that I hadn't said "go" yet. I explained to him that the class had counted down with me and I had told them to begin. I urged him to get started before his time was up. He began to cry while refusing to do his test; I tried to console and reason with him, but it was to no avail. The other students began to finish and I had to collect their work before they decided their tests would make for great drawing paper. As I was dealing with another student, this boy quietly went to the bathroom located in a tiny hallway that connected us to a neighboring classroom. The test was over a moment later and I quickly collected the remaining tests. I instructed the class to stay in their seats and remain quiet (not an easy task with this bunch!). I went over to the bathroom and told the boy to come out, but he refused. I attempted to open the door and discovered that he had locked it! I reached a point where I warned him that if he didn't come out, I would call the principal to deal with him. A little girl came up to me and chimed: "I can get him out! I know how to talk to him." I figured it wouldn't hurt to let her try. Her next words left me speechless: "Daniel, if you don't come out, I'll crush your balls!"

To be honest, I nearly laughed aloud, but I quickly caught myself. Somehow, I retained most of my composure and gently admonished the girl for the statement, which wasn't appropriate to say at her age, not to mention in a 1st grade classroom. To my amazement, the boy unlocked the door and came out! He sat down in his assigned seat and sulked. I never could get him to do the routine assignments that day, but he did at least do the arts and crafts work that the teacher had planned for them.

I later learned that this boy required medication to help him focus on his work, but his medication wasn't administered until lunch time, so his mornings were always unproductive as a result. While his teacher may have been in a hurry, details like this are important to include in the lesson plan when a sub must take over. Had I known that he had a medical issue, I could have handled him differently and more effectively, rather than thinking that he was just being difficult out of spite and testing his limits with me.

It's time for a road trip.

My husband is a truck driver, so the household affairs are largely left solely up to me. Life gets more cluttered with our son's medical appointments and activities to keep him moving forward. This month is particularly hectic as I try to get my head around making plans for my and my husband's wedding...yes, wedding. Technically, we are common-law husband and wife, this wedding will make it legal, and the only thing really prompting the wedding is the need for my husband to put me on his health insurance, as my job does not provide health benefits. We've been together 4 years this July 1st and have had no real problems. We will get married on July 10th. I've never planned anything like this...especially with virtually no budget to work with.

The life of a trucker and his family is precarious, never knowing from one week to the next what's going to happen, and we have already had some close calls. My husband told me recently that trucking is the most dangerous land-based occupation in the country. Truckers get killed on the job frequently. For them, it is only a matter of time before luck runs out and it is another trucker's turn to go. My husband already knows of 3 fellow drivers who have lost their lives in accidents (caused by careless domestic drivers) over the past few months. Given my husband's penchant for getting into dangerous situations, I can conceive becoming a widow in the near future. While that may sound morbid, it is a reality that I have to accept. It is a lot like the uncertainties a military family faces. Military and trucking families have a lot in common: the soldier/driver is often gone for long stretches of time, with the spouse is left to handle the home, children, chores, finances, emergencies, etc without the help of the absent spouse. They also share high divorce rates. Scarier still is not knowing if the soldier/trucker will return home alive, or if you'll have to begin planning the funeral.

With the impending wedding, all of these thoughts have been running through my head. Perhaps I'm just scared or nervous about actually being married (this is my first marriage), perhaps I'm becoming more cognizant of my own mortality as I solidify my committment in this relationship that could end with just one phone call from a trooper or hospital a 1000 miles away. Where am I headed? Is this relationship meant to teach me lessons to prepare me for something else in the future?

It's times like this that make me want to fill up the tank, pack a few belongings and drive aimlessly, and let my thoughts sort themselves out. It's time for a road trip.

Autism better defined

When my son and I are out and about, I often find myself discussing the definition of autism. Sadly, many people are still in the dark about what it means to be autistic. I came across a very good article a while back ago that offers a good explanation about this disorder. The article, entitled: "Autism: The Evolution of a Disease," was written by Bryan Jepson, MD, and was presented at the National Autism Association conference (the article doesn't say what year the conference took place, but I'm sure it wasn't too many years ago). Dr. Jepson (if I am correct) is a member of Thoughtful House, a research facility in Utah that specializes in getting to the bottom of autism. They have a website called: thoughtfulhouse.org.

Dr. Jepson defines autism as such: "Autism is a complex metabolic disorder involving multiple organ systems, primarily the toxicological, immunological, gastrointestinal, and neurological systems." Further down, he explains: "Autistic children are predisposed to environmental toxicity because of underlying metabolic abnormalitites." My own son's issues echo this definition. His first two years of life, he was pale, would alternate between episodes of sleeping soundly and waking up in the middle of the night, he always craved grain and dairy products, had chronic bouts with diarrhea that would leave lesions on his little bottom.

Earlier this year, his pediatrician and I agreed to have him undergo various diagnostic testing to see if we could determine the root cause of his symptoms. So far, since his diagnosis, he's dealt with a child psychologist, pathologist, geneticist, neurologist, as well as 2 MRIs, an EEG, and a lumbar puncture. Next month, he gets to see a developmentalist. While this may seem extreme to some people, keep in mind that autism continues to hold many questions. In order for parents to better help their children, they need to know what they are dealing with. The only way to find out that information is to have the testing done. There is no cure for autism, but it can be managed. The challenge lies within the varying degrees of autism that exist and the fact that every child is affected differently. Autism is almost like a fingerprint-- no two are exactly alike.

To my surprise, a genetics test revealed some interesting results. There is now the question of mitochondrial dysfunction (MtD), as well as possible liver dysfunction. The measurements of the chemicals in his body, when viewed collectively, showed other potential issues. We know that he responds to a gluten-free and dairy-free diet, so there is an obvious link to the metabolic system, he has significant cognitive and communicative delays which tie into the neurological system, his diarrhea was brought under control upon putting him on a special diet, which would tie into the gastrointestinal system. Also, he's no longer pale; since he's been on this diet, his skin tone is rosier and if we continue to live in Texas, my boy will wind up with tanned skin, as opposed to pale skin. His sleeping habits continue to be a problem, but I'm hoping that it's just a phase. He's slowly becoming a more typical boy, but he still has a lot of challenges ahead of him.

Many people seem to associate autism with the film, "Rainman," but it is much more than that. "Rainman" depicts classic autism, but the disorder has so many levels of severity. I'm blessed that my son's autism is high-functioning, I've worked with other autistic kids who will likely never speak or be able to associate well with others and require constant care and therapy for the rest of their lives. There is so much more to this subject, that I could spend all day typing about it, so I'll stop here. However, if anyone reading this passage has further questions, I'm more than happy to offer more information. The only way for people to better understand this epidemic is for us to openly discuss it.

Wishing for rain

I love rainy days! There's something peaceful about them. I'm accustomed to the weather patterns of Central Ohio, so Texas weather is taking some adjustment. I live about 80 miles from the Gulf Coast, so we get a great deal of humidity and warm air. There are two seasons here: hot and wet; we are now in the hot season. Actually, the hot season is not supposed to begin until next month, but I suppose Mother Nature decided to move up the date. The wet season typically involves beautiful, temperate weather with plenty of rainy days interspersed inbetween. Thankfully, the hot season, on average, lasts only 3 months, with the other 9 months pleasantly mild.

As a substitute teacher, I have the fortune of getting days off without having to ask for them--I'm simply not called in to cover for anyone. Last month, I had one such day. It was a Monday and the wee morning hours brought in a nice thunder storm, which ended around 5 or 6am. The rest of the day was a steady rain that was just heavy enough for taking an outdoor shower. My son loves water and would've happily been up for a walk in the rain, but without proper raingear, I opted not to take him for that walk. In the afternoon, I laid him down for his nap, plopped myself in the recliner for my own rest and through the windows, I could see the rain fall gently onto the ground. I also took pleasure in the sound of the drops falling onto the roof of the house. I began to think about my son and how much enjoyment he derives from moments that we adults either take for granted or grouse about, such as rainy days. Perhaps our kids can teach us a thing or two about just letting loose and living for the moment.

It has been a long time since I last jumped in a huge puddle of water or played in the rain, allowing myself to revel in that moment of freedom. As I sat and drank in the quiet atmosphere, words began to form in my head. I haven't attempted poetry in some time (chasing after a little one often leaves me physically and mentally exhausted), so please don't expect much:

For my son, John, pictured above:

Have You Ever Walked in the Rain?

Have you ever walked in the rain,
Or felt the drops fall on your face
As they slowly decend your cheeks,
And taking pleasure in sticking out your tongue
To take a drink from the heavens?

Have you ever danced in the rain,
Leaping and jumping between the drops,
Spinning with your arms open wide,
Revelling in a moment of freedom
That will be gone by the next rays of sun?

Have you ever listened to the rain,
As it pitter-patters upon rooftops
And bounces off leaves
Landing upon the ground
To begin the cycle again?

Have you ever walked in the rain?